that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
