Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
