i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Say something about gay babies.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
