new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
