420 ftw
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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