words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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