I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
