like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
