Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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