Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
