You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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