Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
