Will you blow on my dice?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
