we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
