just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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