just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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