I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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