Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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