Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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