i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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