Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You made out with two different species that night
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
