My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
