dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Can I color on your dick again?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
