hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
