He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
