All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
