apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on