He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?