the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon