he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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