areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do