How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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