my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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