naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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