well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
