and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Just high enough for therapy.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
