Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
