you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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