Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
