Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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