And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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