she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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