I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
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WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
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How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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