TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
