i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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