No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize