She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize