His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
