He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
