That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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