Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
