u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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