I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize