K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
