Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
