even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
