you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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