Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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