You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize