if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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