next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
