I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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