I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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