i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
