Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
