i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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