Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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