Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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