Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
