I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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