idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
